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repent (ReThink!) *working title

December 31, 2017

I'm rethinking everything. Repentance. To rethink. That's where I'm at. Rethinking everything. 

 

I recently decided that my thesis concert needs to be a solo concert. In my body. Of my body. Ok, so I am letting go of everything I've made thus far in grad school. Letting go of my vision and opening up to Unknowing. But now that I'm moving to a solo, I no longer want to do it in the proscenium theater. I am wondering about where the best location for my concert may be. It could be on campus or off campus. I digress...

 

I churned and sifted and agonized and processed a great deal in relationship to my own habits, expectations, patterns and ego last semester. I've gotten clarity on what my thesis will be: 

 Here's what I know:

  • Is not about production

  • Does not follow rules

  • Doesn't mean anything

  • Senseless

  • Doesn't follow reason

  • Gives no fucks!

  • It follows what I find beautiful, exciting, sexy, alive

  • It wastes time and money

  • It's transgressive

  • It's unruly

  • It's strange

  • It's queer

  • It exists for the pleasure of its own existence

  • It doesn't concern itself with whether or not it is bad or good. 

  • It lives outside any binary

  • Follows pleasure

  • Is wild

  •  With this awareness, I went into the studio without knowing what I wanted to happen. I journaled and improvised and this is what came out. I don't know what it means or where I'm going. I'm just going to keep on trying things. 

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

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