I'm rethinking everything. Repentance. To rethink. That's where I'm at. Rethinking everything.
I recently decided that my thesis concert needs to be a solo concert. In my body. Of my body. Ok, so I am letting go of everything I've made thus far in grad school. Letting go of my vision and opening up to Unknowing. But now that I'm moving to a solo, I no longer want to do it in the proscenium theater. I am wondering about where the best location for my concert may be. It could be on campus or off campus. I digress...
I churned and sifted and agonized and processed a great deal in relationship to my own habits, expectations, patterns and ego last semester. I've gotten clarity on what my thesis will be:
Here's what I know:
Is not about production
Does not follow rules
Doesn't mean anything
Doesn't follow reason
Gives no fucks!
It follows what I find beautiful, exciting, sexy, alive
It wastes time and money
It exists for the pleasure of its own existence
It doesn't concern itself with whether or not it is bad or good.
It lives outside any binary
With this awareness, I went into the studio without knowing what I wanted to happen. I journaled and improvised and this is what came out. I don't know what it means or where I'm going. I'm just going to keep on trying things.