repent (ReThink!) *working title

I'm rethinking everything. Repentance. To rethink. That's where I'm at. Rethinking everything.

I recently decided that my thesis concert needs to be a solo concert. In my body. Of my body. Ok, so I am letting go of everything I've made thus far in grad school. Letting go of my vision and opening up to Unknowing. But now that I'm moving to a solo, I no longer want to do it in the proscenium theater. I am wondering about where the best location for my concert may be. It could be on campus or off campus. I digress...

I churned and sifted and agonized and processed a great deal in relationship to my own habits, expectations, patterns and ego last semester. I've gotten clarity on what my thesis will be:

Here's what I know:

• Is not about production

• Does not follow rules

• Doesn't mean anything

• Senseless

• Doesn't follow reason

• Gives no fucks!

• It follows what I find beautiful, exciting, sexy, alive

• It wastes time and money

• It's transgressive

• It's unruly

• It's strange

• It's queer

• It exists for the pleasure of its own existence

• It doesn't concern itself with whether or not it is bad or good.

• It lives outside any binary

• Follows pleasure

• Is wild

• With this awareness, I went into the studio without knowing what I wanted to happen. I journaled and improvised and this is what came out. I don't know what it means or where I'm going. I'm just going to keep on trying things.